depression comix #42



4 thoughts on “depression comix #42

  1. This strip was inspired by a recent conversation I had with a friend when I realized, when a friendship is on the rocks, I tend to close that door and break off all contact rather than try to patch things up.  I understand sometimes one has to break it off, but I was doing this all the time, over the smallest of reasons.  Perhaps one reason is that I was afraid of getting hurt so slamming the door was a kind of self-protection mechanism — cutting off all ties to prevent the possibility of getting hurt more. I don’t know if this will resonate with people, but it’s certainly been a part of my life for the past decade or so.

  2. With me, it’s the thought of the effort of *fixing* the relationship after I’ve screwed something up is so overwhelming I’d rather just give up on it. It’s not an anger, it’s a despair: I’ve screwed it up and if I weren’t such a piece of shit I could maybe fix it, but I really don’t have the energy to do it.

    The synergistic effect is that repair is really hard because anything from me is automatically worthless, so it takes something downright heroic to make up for, e.g. blowing someone off one evening.

    Simpler just to write it off and try to forget about it. It’ll still bother me in my dreams, but I won’t be as tired from futile effort.

  3. I think this strip rings true for a lot of people, not just for us with depression.

    I identify with Portia’s take. I wouldn’t describe myself as slamming the door shut, at least not consciously. I’d describe it as more like a piece of me has died. I’ve crossed an injurious point of no return. That limb might be reattached, but it will never work like it did before. The closed door feels like more of an observation than a decision.

  4. I’ll restate that first point. The strip rings true for a lot of people, but the slammed door reverberates a lot louder and a LOT longer for people with depression.

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