depression illustrations #2


7 thoughts on “depression illustrations #2

  1. Clay, I relate to this in a funny way. Actually, i never had a “before” like on your “Lost” poster. I never had a non-depressed “me.” In fact i never even KNEW i was depressed until i took some tests for a psychology program in college. I just thought that was me, not “depressed.” I’m going to reblog this and explain further. Take care and thanks for the great work!

  2. Reblogged this on Bipolar For Life and commented:
    When I saw this new work from Clay it kind of hit me between the eyes. For most of my life, there was nobody you could call “Lost,” because I had never had the experience of NOT being depressed.

    So of course I didn’t know that what I was had a name, “depression.” I did know that I felt like shit all the time, even (especially) as a child, and I didn’t want to be alive, and often really wanted to die. I even tried to one time, by riding my bike in front of a car. I got a head injury and a number of other wounds for my trouble, and was really angry at G@d that I didn’t get to die. I was 10.

    I tried to kill myself again when I was 22, by breathing pure nitrous oxide. I did die that time, actually, but was in the presence of someone who knew CPR so I got sent back again. That story is for its own blog entry: this is just a teaser (sort of).

    I never knew that what I was, was depressed, until I was in college. There was an ad in the student newspaper for paid volunteers for a drugs experiment in the psychology department. Free drugs plus money? Yeehah! I went and applied.

    They gave me an entire day’s worth of psychological testing. I went home and waited for the call to come in and get my drugs, and my money.

    I got a phone call, but not the one I wanted. You must go right away to Student Mental Health, they said. Your tests show that you are suffering from Major Depressive Disorder.

    Hmmm. I wasn’t feeling any different than I always fely, but I dutifully trudged through the Chicago snow to the Student Mental Health Center.

    After the usual wait, a nice lady called me into her office. I sat down. She smiled and waited. I had nothing to say, so she began,

    “Well! I see that you were referred for Major Depressive Disorder.” She smiled bigger. “Well! You’re very attractive. I see you get good grades in school. So why are you depressed?”

    I stood up, thanked the lady for her time, and walked away from there.

    1. That’s very similar to how I found out about my depression. I took a personality inventory to see if the career path I was on was suitable for me, and that’s when I was told I had depression. I didn’t realize it at the time, and I knew so little about it that I thought I just didn’t do the test right or something. I was always myself, I didn’t see what was wrong. I was given counseling, drugs, various treatments, but I didn’t feel depressed.

      A couple of years later, my girlfriend at the time split up with me to pursue a relationship with my thesis advisor. This had the effect on my academic career as one would expect, and it pushed me into a deep depression with all its lovely effects. It was then that I knew what depression really was.

      So when I was doing this work, I was thinking of who I was before that incident. I may not have been the happiest person around but I still felt like I was in full control of my life. After that, I lost everything… my friends, my career, my future. Depression was probably going to happen anyways, after all, I was predisposed to it. It was going to take me at some point, and it chose then.

      I had a good laugh at your final comment regarding “Why are you depressed?” Your response was perfect.

  3. I’ve been reading this for months and finally this image made me piece together your style + name + format and why they felt so familiar.
    I’m still following the same artist 3 years later and didn’t even realize it.

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