139 thoughts on “232

  1. Pingback: chatfrom's Blog
  2. It hurt to the bone watching a loved one go for therapy the vety first time.
    It felt like we had failed her, i had failed her. I cried myself to sleep.
    But seeing her back to her cheerful self is so very fullfilling

  3. It feels like he’s betraying himself because they are going to give him pills to fit into an “insane” society and he knows his true heart and nature isn’t listening anymore… that’s how I take your art and I like it. 🙂 Kudos.

  4. I guess to some degree depression can be that we’ve sort of gotten our backs up, like we’re taking a stand. ‘I am not the sort of person who can be happy with the world as I see it’ and ‘I don’t want to legitimize the status quo by participating,’ sorts of things. So therapy is intended to do just that, to help us find happiness or peace in the world, even if the world is a terrible place and is going to remain so.

    For me, that felt like a sort of moral stance. Although the only change it made in the world was a decrease in my happiness, to try to be happy at the time for me would have felt morally lax, for lack of a better way to say it. I think that would have seemed like a betrayal, a reversal of my stance.

    I’ve since learned that although feelings are involuntary, still, we do not owe the world at large an emotional reaction. We will feel what we feel, and we can do what we can to improve the world and ourselves, but there is no reason to go out on strike against our own well-being to do it.

    1. Um, depression isn’t like taking a stand, neighsayer. Moral stances are taking stands and those can feel depressing to some people I guess… but clinical depression is not a simple “emotional reaction” and no depressed person really wants to feel depressed. They want relief. They want health.

      There is a certain numb that pills have historically caused creative depressed people to feel and so they see their art as suffering… but this is because pharmaceuticals are largely over prescribed and depression is commonly misdiagnosed and everyone has individual needs and there is not a one size fits all life. Or reaction to status quo.
      But anyhow, I hope you’re having a good day and are feeling happy. Peace.

      1. you’re getting me wrong, I know a thing or two about it. i said ‘to some degree’ and it was only about the ‘betrayal’ idea in the comic. I agree with everything else you said.

      2. Oh I apologize for misunderstanding you. Thanks for clarifying for me. 🙂

  5. Know that feeling. But turning yourself in can sometimes be an excuse just for you to hide or escape from the problem. If you wanna get better, face the stressor to end the stress.

  6. Sometimes i find it impossible to turn from doubting myself. Make the most of what u have. Remain strong

  7. I feel like this a lot of the times… Especially when I am prescribed medication. I feel the meds take away the person who I am, I always say” I’m a zombie “whenever they give me meds. I suffer from bipolar and depression and for the most part when I am manic the medication only numbs me.. I am about to be put back on meds for stability in my life but after about two or three years I will be looking into something more natural.

    1. Hi yourmindplzexpressit, I’m not anyone to diagnose or give advice about meds and I don’t suffer from Bipolar depression, but I have still learned that some of the only people who truly benefit from pills are those with Bipolar depression which is much more extreme than other forms of depression which can benefit from natural alternatives and without meds with the right routines. Bipolar depression evidently also has three different types with degrees or levels of mood swings with the most extreme mania including hallucinations. So, I don’t want to pry into your private health or tell you what to do, but I hope you’ll find doctors you trust so you can follow the best advice for your long term management. I’m not sure that in two or three years going off the meds is an option for bipolar depression as I haven’t heard any alternative methods being offered for this specific condition…
      Anyhow, best wishes to you. And I hope this wasn’t too forward.

      1. Nope not at all…. I appreciate that, made me a little sad but I appreciate it. More I just feel like I have to work really hard for my mental stabilisation especially if I’m looking to have kids.

      2. But the most brilliant people have suffered from bipolar depression… people who have become doctors in the field as well as artists, and philosophers, musicians, and the list goes on. You just need the right support systems to live an authentic life. You aren’t weak or “disordered” in any way. You are challenged with sensitivity and creativity in a world that doesn’t know what to do when it encounters it. You are strong for surviving and exploring your options. It will be ongoing and something you have to participate in and practice for your health to balance, but whatever setbacks and mistakes that occur are not failures. You don’t loose what you’ve already learned. You just get back up on the “proverbial” horse. And you are worth it. You can still have kids. You don’t have to deny yourself anything. You just have to trust your own strengths.
        I believe in you.

      3. One more thing, yourmindplzexpressit, if you’re interested in reading about Dr. Kay R. Jamison who suffered from bipolar depression and wrote an “unquiet Mind” you might see how she learned about her condition and then used it for her successes. Maybe you’ll find it of value…


      4. Wow if I thought the first message touched me this one was even more supportive. I will surely seek this book as a must read and read it. I’m not a young person anymore and my mental stability is my number one priority, because I mean nothing goes steady in life with this disease. One year your fine the next year your way off eighteen the next year your like man WTheck excuse my text language. I will keep you updated on my feelings towards the hill you recommended. Thanks a bunch, really appreciate it.

      5. The book is older and I read it years ago, yourmindplzexpress it, but I think it still has value. If I come across any books that are more current or better recommended, I’ll let you know, if you want me to. Stay vigilant but be gentle with yourself! Being older doesn’t mean you can’t still achieve great things. Kandinsky the painter didn’t even begin to paint until he was in his forties and then he ended up a major name in the modern art world! Certainly keep me posted and I’ll keep you in my thoughts. 🙂

      6. Thank you Tabby Ren Elle. You’ve been a great help and inspiration I’m actually posting something either today or tomorrow, thanks to you. So please stop by and read.

      7. Aw, I’m glad to hear you are feeling proactive. I’ll stop by sometime soon for sure, yourmindplzexpressit. 🙂

      8. Please excuse the first message. If possible the resources and books that you recommended can you send them to me again. And if you don’t mind can you resend your reply to my post.

      9. I put it on your blog but here it is for other people too:

        Andrew Solomon ted talk on depression & resilience:


        The site also has pod casts and articles if you navigate around. Many alternative healing components if not replacements… are among them and for different kinds of depression or anxiety not just bi-polar. Still, go with your doctor’s advice and not mine, this was passed on to me by a friend. 🙂

    2. Hey yourmindplzexpressit – I feel your pain! I have bipolar too, and I resisted meds for so many years – I could kick myself for doing that, because since starting on my meds, I feel so much more like myself. I don’t want to discourage you from following a more natural remedy, because lets face it, eating well and getting enough sleep can’t do you any harm, but I definitely think that if you’re looking for a stable mood, you’ll probably have to come to terms with being on some form of medication. If the one you’re on now is making you feel like a zombie, then it might not be the one for you. You might need to work with your Doctor to find a better drug for you. Do your own research on medications too. That’s what I do. And then I make an informed decision about my own mental health treatment 🙂

      1. Thank you so much for your reply, as recently I have found this topic very important. Let me ask you…. Now that your back to your normal self. Do you feel that your emotions lack in any way, our your feelings are controlled by the medicine? I ask this because it’s not just a zombie feel it’s a creativity kill. I recently wrote a piece on BIPOLAR DEPRESSION, you should refer to my blog piece and reply.

      2. I feel more normal than I have in so many years – before taking my meds, I had no idea what “normal” was – you may just not be on the right meds for you. Our bodies are all different and respond differently to various medications, so I would encourage you to give these meds you’re on now a chance (at least 6 months), and if they are still making you feel less creative, work with your doctor to find something else that will work better.

        You must do your own research on your meds though. I was on an antidepressant, and after my diagnosis they wanted to change my meds – I was reluctant to change though because I know how these meds have helped me, and for me the most serious issue is depression and anxiety – the mania happens relatively infrequently, and if I have a hypomanic episode, nobody really notices (except myself).

        I researched the medication they wanted me to take, and the one I was on – I found that both the drugs were as effective as the other for treating depression and anxiety, and the one the Dr wanted me to change to was found to be as effective as a placebo in preventing manic episodes, so I decided to stay on what I was on. And so far, its still working 😉

        It can take a while to find meds that work for you, but hang in there! You’ll get it right 🙂

  8. Reminds me of these words from J.K Rowling, ““Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . . It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it’s a healthy feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.”

  9. A great comic, it truly sums up the feeling of that moment and thought process. If you come to this moment make sure you go through that door. I speak from my own experiences.

  10. sometimes we donot need a mental health clinic to come out of it instead we need our close friends..sometimes depression is all about lack of a few insane laughters..care and happiness..i hope you find yours soon

  11. It’s very difficult to trust anything apart from your own instinct, especially when it comes to divulging personal information. You have said to yourself that you will not take any medication, but you have run out of other options.

      1. Depression rewires thinking so that it becomes self destructive, so that getting help goes against the reprogramming.

      2. I’ve had depression since 1993. I don’t know if this comic helps people but it has helped me understand this illness and what it does to me and how it affects others.

  12. I know, how true..doesn’t the soul pinch so much..it is such a pulling force that pains the arms so much and it is so important to come across this feeling to GET SANE! spot on!

  13. This is how I felt too. You believe you can fix yourself by yourself, but the thing about counselling that you don’t see in the movies is that you DO fix yourself. The counselor doesn’t tell you what to do, they just help you find the way yourself. It’s amazing – the best thing I have ever done.

  14. Reblogged this on Rantings of a Disney Freak and commented:
    This comic speaks mountains… I’ve experienced this exact moment. It took a lot for me to realise that it’s ok to want help.

    I hope others with depression and other psychological/mental health problems realise this as well!


  15. It does feel that way even win your on meds you constantly question yourself like… I don’t really need these but sadly… You do! I’m glad to be following you now💯

    1. I feel you. I actually sought help for some time and it didn’t help much. The fact that they automatically wanted to put me on meds was a major discouragement to go back, but at least I did get to talk with someone while I was there.

  16. Been there, felt that. I think a lot of it has to do with the stigma of an invisible illness like depression. Like saying you’re fine, when you’re not. For myself, there came a point when I realized that I could keep driving myself into the ground pretending to be what others thought they saw or I could speak my truth: I’ve had better days, but I’m standing.

  17. That mental state of mind of betrayal of self…yea, been there…done that. It is something that hurts and yet, putting the hand out for someone to help is the best

  18. Approaching that door is realisation that you are accepting your illness and that is a big accomplishment… One I have still trying to climb and face

  19. I feel like therapy is helpful- but for me only helpful for so long or in times of need. If I stay too long I start defining myself as someone who needs therapy and feel worse lol!

  20. Also some therapist are fantastic, some are just not good (like in any career) for me has to be someone who challenges me intellectually, has wisdom and experience to share, is hard on me if I need it

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